A while ago someone told me she hand washes her bras every time she showers. She didn’t go into much detail, and I didn’t think much about it at the time. Until, that is, I found myself standing in the bathroom with a stinky bra in one hand and a busy schedule in the other (metaphors are hard), with no time to do laundry *and* take a shower, though both were totally necessary. So I decided to take a chance with my precious push-up and invited it into the shower with me.

(This may or may not be what my friend meant, but then again I have no idea what — or who — she invites into the shower with her.)

The results so far have been pretty decent. I’d say this works best for lightly soiled bras, not utterly befouled ones. The first bra I did this with I’d worn while doing heavy duty outdoor lumberjane type activities, and while the bra did get clean eventually, washing it turned into a lumberjane activity in and of itself. Best to put those bras in the washing machine and maybe reevaluate your need to wear a push-up bra while managing your woodlot to begin with.

SO. This is my bra washing process:

First of all, clean out the bathroom sink. This is important. I personally feel that dried up toothpaste gunk is even less attractive than residual sweat odors; you may feel differently, but at the very least we can agree that they are equally unattractive. I’d recommend cleaning your bathroom sink even if you are going to use an alternative container to soak your goodies, but by all means, feel free to clean your alternative container as well.

Next, place your bra in the sink (or wherever. Whatever). Maybe add a couple pairs of panties or nylons, but keep the number of items to a minimum — this isn’t meant to replace laundry day completely. Add a little gentle detergent like Woolite and fill with water to cover. (I just use my regular shampoo, because I’m cheap and lazy.) Maybe swish stuff around a little, or even squeeze some of your less delicate delicates. Whatever feels right.

Hop in the shower. Do whatever you do until you’ve got a spare moment — remember, this is supposed to be convenient. My spare moment comes while I’m conditioning my hair, but don’t do me, do you. It is at this point that you fish your fishnets out and rinse them under the shower head. This goes so much faster than the traditional rinse/soak/drain routine! Aside from my first attempt, which took five minutes of rinsing in the shower and an additional ten minutes afterward, it’s taken maybe a minute to get all the soap and dirt out, even when I’ve done multiple items. SOOO FAST.

Also, dump or drain the gross sudsy water and rinse your container. My bathroom sink won’t plug unless you don’t want it to, so the water slowly drains itself. If you aren’t jealous, you should be.

Then you gently squeeze as much water as you can out of your skivvies and put them back in your empty soaking container until your shower is complete. I just hang my granny panties and compression hose all over the house so everyone can admire them as they dry, but I’m a little more careful about my push-up bras. Not much more careful, but I do spread them out on a towel instead of just flinging them across the bannister.

Some might worry about the extra time this method will tack on to your shower. But I would say that, because you only fill your soaking container once instead of a million times like your grandmother does, and because it takes so little time to rinse completely under the shower head, you might actually save water by using this technique. And if you’re disgusting like me you might find you don’t have to do as much laundry, because if your undies are fresh you might be able to convince yourself that the rest of your clothes are clean enough as they are. (If you use a green enough cleanser you could even reserve the soaking water to hydrate your poor neglected house plants — bonus karma points for you, granola pants.) At the very least it’s probably a wash (rimshot).

And with that, you now have the requisite knowledge to hand wash your hand washables in less time than it takes to read this tutorial. You’re welcome.